End of an Era

The past couple of weeks have been awful. Really awful. The other day, I pretty cut all ties with one of my best friends who was in the list of top ten most important people to me. But after a series of events that he has caused, I've felt I can no longer continue our friendship. Luckily a fair few of my friends have agreed with me, but there have been the odd few I thought I could count on for some form of support that have disappointed me.

He is publicly bitching about me, calling me names and making up malicious lies. I know that after all that, if there was ever a chance of talking things through and potentially making up, they are deffo off the cards now because of his actions. I've done nothing wrong, and have nothing to be sorry for. I just want to carry on with my life, yet he is determined to make my life miserable by bitching about my constantly, clearly, to all his friends. People I know and get on with. If shoe was on the other foot, I actually wouldn't do any of that, because I actually have respect for people. It's such a hypocrite too, because if it were the other way round, he'd be demanding to have it all taken down too.

I just hope I can get on the next few months of my life at uni without having to deal with his bullshit. That's probably asking for too much though.

Mother's Day and Almost Broken Noses.

Today I have been writing my Mother's Day cards. Yes, note the plural. The reason why I am writing this blog now rather then waiting for the actual day is for several significant reasons. One, I'm working all day and all night Sunday, two, my mother does not read this blog, and pretty sure she doesn't even know it exists anyway, so she won't be spoiled.

So writing the cards today made me sad. This is because the second Mother's Day card was not for my mother, but for my Nanna. My mum's mum. She passed away over a year ago now. I can't believe it's been that long. There isn't a day nor hour that goes by when I don't think about her. She deserves a Mother's Day card for the rest of the years I am alive and able to accomplish. Perhaps even when I have kids I will make them carry on my new tradition.

Anyway, I wrote a draft of what to write in her card, and those close to me, or just family may only read this with the emotion I was supposed to convey.

"Even though you are no longer with us,

My thoughts of you are with me everyday.

Despite not being able to have hugs and kisses with you any more,

I know you are alive in me and the rest of the family.

And therefore, I thank you

For blessing us with that honour.

My love, hugs, kisses and thoughts with you particularly on this day.

Thank you for being one of the most important people in my life.

To a Special Nanna, forever in my heart."

Lots of Love, Zoe

xxxx

So I've sent that off with my regular Mother's day card for my actual mum. Hopefully both my mum should get her's in the post tomorrow, and my Poppa get Nanna's in the post tomorrow too. Both envelopes say to save it for Sunday. I hope they do.

I've had another strange surge of energy at stupid o'clock again. Which is bad, because I have work in the morning, and working all day, and supposed to be partying all night, and then I'll be working all day and night Sunday. Then it's back to Monday with meetings and lectures. Not good. But I guess I'll survive.

Anyway, on other news, last night I went out, as mentioned in my previous blog, for law society elections. Emily won! YAY! And we all went and let our hair down in "the Cell", where it was a good night of drinking and dancing. Everyone pretty much got drunk apart from me, and I felt a little meh, but never mind, I was enjoying myself overall.

Until I got head butted.

It was an accident of course.

But it f***ing hurt! Annoying, my nose didn't bleed, nor did it break, bruise, swell, cause concision, or anything! Except hurt! Alot! See, the pain would have been WORTH it if there was substantial evidence that I had been nutted. I was concerned, however, over the pain, and I certainly could not continue my night out, so I headed home. And what should I find outside the night club as I leave? An ambulance! Sure, they were attending to someone else, but there was a paramedic to spare, and a couple of policemen. Nice, concerning policemen. So I walk over to them, and ask if they would take a look at my nose, as I accident got head butted.

So the nice policeman ushered over the spare paramedic who lead me into the ambulance to take a look. After testing for where all the pain was, and judging if it was broken or not, asking me questions like "are you dizzy?" "was there bleeding?" "do you feel nauseous?" "does your eye hurt too?" etc, he came to the conclusion that my nose was fine, and was obviously just feeling the after effect of being nutted. So he sent me on my merry way, despite being concerned I was walking home along (I only live five minutes away from the night club). He thought someone would need to watch me in case I did get dizzy and slip into unconsciousness. I was tired anyway, so whether I fell asleep due to being head butted, or just general tiredness, it was a win win in my eyes. I only felt the need to get it checked out right there and then because I had work the next day in the evening.

So I got advised if I did feel dizzy or nauseous, or if the pain got worse, or it was evident I clearly wasn't alright, or I started to bleed a lot, then to call an ambulance.

None of these things happened, which I was disappointed about, because, as I said before, it would have been worth the pain then.

While getting stamps at the post office today, I decided to pick up a passport form, because I am going to Spain in the summer for Benicassim 2010 festival. So excited. However, my passport is out of date by three years, so need a new one for July... and I dread getting my photo sorted. I hate that you now have to tuck your hair behind your ears so you show your ears. I mean, really. What's the point? I don't get it. It's a stupid rule, and it's going to make my face look stupid, my hair look stupid and me overall, stupid! Grrr. Hair is at too awkward length to make it look like a decent photo.

But I suppose everyone hates their passport photo, or am I wrong there?

Anyway, it's going to take some planning, a good hair and make-up day and good luck to try and get a descent passport photo. Finger crossed. *sigh*

Over & Out.

Lots of Things to do Today

University wise, quite busy today. Aside from the usual uni work that needs to be done, tonight is the Law Society elections, where all Law Society members such as myself have to vote for the new president. It's a fight between Emily Bergin and James Spittlehouse.

I'm not going to be subtle about it, I'm voting for Emily Bergin.

So the voting sesh is taking place as... surprise, surprise, a student friendly bar the public know as 'The Glass House', and us students know as 'The Office'.

Quite look forward to a session of letting my hair down tonight by a drinking session at 'The Cell' tonight too. Ok, it's actually called 'Scy' now, but I refuse to acknowledge this change!

Right, must go and make myself look pretty. Bye.

Uni Work – same old, same old

Today a vital book for my dissertation arrived. It was recommended by a friend who is doing a similar study to me relating to fan culture. "Fan Cultures" by Matt Hills. I'm breaking into it now as at the moment for my dissertation I am researching fandom and fan culture side of my dissertation. I've already submitted questionnaires to do with audience research and 'LOST' fandom on several 'LOST' fan forums and on my other blog fal108-themediastudent.blogspot.com where followers or viewers e-mail me via my dissertation e-mail thelostdissertation@hotmail.co.uk. So far, the dissertation of writing it into words, is going slow, so I am praying that the more research stuff I do, the more books, articles, journals and online stuff I read, then I might get a light bulb that might charge the super speed writer in me that I am used too.

So, on top of my 10,000 word dissertation to write, I also have to take part in the production of a 20 minute film, a research and development project where I have to research a company, get an interview and aim to get either an internship there or a job for after graduation. On top of all that, I also have to write an essay on contemporary media. All by May 7^th, however, dissertation, which is the bigger of both projects at the moment, has to be in for first week in April. Is that doable? Well, I guess I am about to find out. I really don't have any choice in the matter. Oh, and I also forgot to mention an in-course retrieval to do. Basically, that means re-sitting an assignment that I failed last semester – "Horror and Fantasy" – which I failed as it had to be sacrificed to ensure group work was completed for another project at the same time.

Ok, so my readers' maybe thinking that "why are you wasting your time writing a blog on here, rather then getting down with your studies?" – simple answer, it's what I do when I run into a writer's block, or I need a break, or as a warm up.

So... apart from uni work, what's new with me? Well, nothing much really. Just been doing my usual hours at work (the odeon), which does me just fine. I enjoy it, which helps. Also means I've already seen the new Alice in Wonderland film, which I think was really good. Not what I expect, but very enjoyable, and to the standards I expect from Tim Burton. I was also quite shocked to how short the film was then I would expect. Went in for the film at eight o'clock and was out by just after 10pm. When you include adverts and trailers which are normally twenty to half an hour long, that pretty much adds up to the film being just over an hour and a half long. Maybe I'm just used to films these days being at least two hours long.

Other films I've seen recently have been 'Leap Year' and 'The Lovely Bones'. 'Leap Year' was surprisingly funny. I thought it was going to be a typical, really corny, really cheesy, shitty film, but I actually found it really entertaining, and was laughing a lot of the way through. My friend told me she thought that Matthew Goode could not do an Irish accent, but it was good enough for me. The ending was predictably cheesy, and in that way, a bit disappointing, however, the rest of it was worth a giggle. What is it about the Irish that makes them so damn attractive?

I found 'The Lovely Bones' one of the most emotional films I've ever watched. I've not read the book yet, so I am unable to compare the two. I always do this if I know a film is coming out based on a book. I've learnt my lesson on this. As a general rule, I always find that the films are never better then the book they are based on, so since I learnt this, I have been watching the film before I read the book, then I usually find I enjoy the book even more. Ok, I've kinda cheated with reading all the 'Twilight' books before each film has come out separately, but I figured that I would run into too many spoilers in-between the making of each of the other films. Anyway, back to 'The Lovely Bones'. There were so many moments in the film that either made me cry, or made me want to cry. It made me think so much of myself and my relationship with my dad, and placing myself and my dad in the shoes of Suzie and her father, Jack. It made me think of how destroyed my dad would be if what happened to Suzie had happened to me when I was fourteen. Then it made me think how I'd feel if I had lost my own child in such away.

Basically, Peter Jackson did a superb job with the film, and I would definitely watch it again. It was so beautiful. Although never with my dad. That would be horrible.

Anyway, it's late. I better get in some more reading and note taking for a little while and then some good earned rest. Busy, busy, busy day tomorrow. Much needed trip to the gym, taking back a dress to the shops due to it being a bad quality that it broke on my first night of wearing it. A seam came undone and the zip broke. NOT impressed. So that, and uni work, and then important law society events in the evening.

So I am going to say ciao for now, and hopefully, I'll write again soon!

Zoe.

DISSERTATION AUDIENCE INTERACTION QUESTIONNAIRE!

Hello all,

For those that do not know me, my name is Zoe, a third year media student at the University of Lincoln, and for my Dissertation, I am studying ‘LOST’ and its fan culture. I need your help! If as many of you could please take a few moments of any free time to spare answering my questions, that would be fantastic! There are fifteen questions in total.

First set of questions is to do with the type of audience ‘LOST’ attracts for my audience research:
1. How old are you?
2. Are you male or female?
3. What do you do for a living? Are you employed, unemployed, student, retired etc?
4. Are you an aspirer or a homemaker?
5. Do you think ‘LOST’ is for a narrow audience or broad audience?

And now for the questions on ‘LOST’

1. What is the appeal of lost to you?

2. How many ‘LOST’ forums are you a member of?

3. Do you part take in any fan culture activities? Such as fan fiction, fan videos, fan art, etc?

4. What would you consider as fan activity apart from the aspects I mentioned?

5. Do you look for spoilers, or avoid them?

6. Is six seasons enough, or would you rather there be more episodes to come?

7. To what extend does your fandom go?

8. Have you ever attended a ‘LOST’ convention, and if so, how were they conducted, and what did you do at them?

9. Would you go to Hawaii to go on the tour of the ‘LOST’ set, and if so, what would you get most excited about seeing?

10. Do your friends ever get tired of your expressed fandom of ‘LOST’, and would you consider yourself as an ‘Annoying Lost Fan’?

Thank you very much for your help, you can keep up-to-date with the progress of this dissertation if you follow my other blog: fal108-themediastudent.blogspot.com