You're So Vein

A Very Fishy Story... (Update no. 4)

The Will Reading and "What Really Happened"

Along with the letter about the "funeral", also what came with it was a "will" and a letter about what really happened. This is what they both said:

"The Official Reading of the Last Will and Testament of Beatrice Bobblethorpe

I Beatrice leave the following to my baby Betty:

• My forever Love x X (Love you baby) X x
• A packet of fish fingers - remember me when you eat each finger (will be delivered in due course)
• 70 2p's from my official fishifax savings account (will be delivered in due course)
• 80 1p's from my official fishifax savings account (will be delivered in due course)
• A bottle of water, this water was blessed by sharks on September 11th after the terrible plan crash which led to powerful trembles rushing to the Mediterranean killing your great grandfather twice removed (will be delivered in due course)
• A blank sheet of paper for you to write all of your great grandfather twice removed (will be delivered in due course)
• A blank sheet of paper for you to write all of your memories of me down - read it and treasure me forever (attached within)
• A star, when you were born I decided to buy a star and name it Betty. Every night look up at the sky and that shining star will be yours! I shall be waiting on it for you.
• A deep dark family secret. Barry is ALIVE! The story on the following page.

Beatrice, what really happened?

One sunny morning Barry, your brother and lover witnessed something so SHOCKING it destroyed his vision to happiness. Your brother and lover Barry walked in on your uncle Bagdad having sexual fishicourse with your TWIN brother Botty!!!

House passed and Barry could not cope with this! He later went up to his uncle and Botty had told them he saw everything that happened, his uncle told him he was onto to talk and made Barry feel like an apple. Later, Barry still could not cope so decided to go for a swim, he saw his uncle and Botty once again, things were not as they seemed they were arguing and Botty was crying. Bagdad slapped Botty and knocked him out. Barry witnessed everything, and then suddenly out of nowhere Bagdad killed Botty! My poor Botty dead. The police interviewed Barry and for the case to get to court Barry had to fake his death. Barry agreed and things all went to plan, this was until Bagdad escaped prison and killed himself on Botty's grave.

I could not take all this terror as I didn't know Barry was under witness protection. I only found ot the day before I decided to take my own life. There was nothing I could do as I had already taken an overdose which in SeaWorld kicks in a day later, I tried going to the hospital bt there was nothing they could do for me. It was too late my baby :( that is why I decided to write this terrible tragic will leaving you the real truth behind my death and it was nothing to do with all the crap Detective Brad told you! He had to lie so that terrible truth would not come out and risk your life Betty.

Your grandparents do however want to stay in touch and don't hate e like Brad said. As I come to an end of writing this letter I am starting to lose the will to live. I managed to publish my own Book (Finding Beatrice) it gives all the fll details about what really happened and you will be able to find out all about your birth, my dead, your brothers and ncles. I really hope that you meet your grandparents. Barry will be out of witness protection shortly so may be joining you. Barry is very disturbed at the moment and may not fully recover; he is suffering from Fish-dish this means he may change into a different or item of fishy products such as tuna. I hope you read my book and get the full story of what really happened with everything. I love you so much my baby. Love Mum X x

End of official WILL reading

This document is a legal document and should be disposed of as soon as possible

The court of law advises all WILL readers to wash their hands after reading this letter to wash away any sins that may have entered the reader's fins

This WILL was signed off... 24/05/11"

Thus concludes the last letter received about our newly adopted fish, Betty.

Next blog it will most definitely reveal who REALLY left me Betty.

A Very Fishy Story... (Update no. 3)

"Beatrice Bobblethorpe

15th May 1971 - 1th May 2011

Lover, fighter, mother, friend, beater, worker

All things we loved her for

xxxxxxxx"

Followed by:

"In the Memory Of Beatrice Bobblethorpe

15th May 1971 - 15th May 2011

On Thursday 19th May, Beatrice was flushed to rest. I have taken it upon myself to include to you some details about the service.

The funeral service was lead by Vicar Billy, a close fishy-friend of the Bobblethorpe family. Beatrice's close friends Bolly, Brax, on and off lover Brian and auntie Bee all delivered moving, emotional speeches during the service. Beatrice's mother and father did not attend the funeral as they were in so much shock they did not feel ready to publicly acknowledge the loss of their daughter at the moment in time. Bolly was said to be crying all the way through the service and had to be restrained at one point when he tried jumping in the toilet to pull Beatrice out. However, Brax, a very butch fish twice removed from seal world shocked everyone within the service by revealing Beatrice was a secret, casual lesbian and had actually been undergoing a no-fishnets-attached lesbian affair with lesbianism and made a few bubbles. Finally auntie Bee revealed that she was Betty's mother, this caused SHOCK within the bathroom and later announced she was joking and wanted to add a bit of entertainment to the service, however no one thought she was funny and told her to leave. Apparently auntie Bee has always been the dark sea-WHOREse of the family. The family asked me to pass on a very special poem to Betty that was written by Beatrice and read at the funeral.

You are gone, but not forgotten

you're a mother, lover and friend

I will love you until the end

Hold me, touch me, feel me

Kiss me, stroke me, release me

I will never replace you

I will never love again

Love me, Love you, Love us

Beatrice x

Yours sincerely, Detective Brad."

This letter was then followed by a 'WILL' reading... [will add tomorrow as I am too exhausted to type anymore!]

A very Fishy Story... (Update no. 2)

"Official Report and Statement Released by the Detectives at the Metrofishitan Police Force:

Beatrice was gentle and caring; a loving and generous fish. However, she could not cope with the burden of being a mother. That is why one sad evening she did the most devastating thing a mother could do... Beatrice decided to give her babies Betty and Barry up for adoption. Sadly, before he could find love and shelter with a different family, Barry passed away. We hope to explain this tragic turn of events to you more fully in order the shed some light o the experiences your new child, Betty, has endured.

Barry and Betty had been undergoing a sexual relationship (which in sea life is legal) however; when Beatrice found out it drove her to the edge of sanity. She went mental. Beatrice did not approve of it being legal for all fish to be lovers regardless of their possible relation to each other. Beatrice felt this way partly because her brother Bongo and sister Bella had an affair which resulted tragically in them both killing themselves. Bongo and Bella were seen as the sea versions of Romeo and Juliet... and you know how that story ended. However, back to the accident: when Beatrice found out about the nature of Barry and Betty's relationship she had an emotional breakdown. She lashed out at the pair and confined them to a small tub. She selfishly left them alone for several hours while she went out and painted the sea blue. When Beatrice came back the following morning, she had a terrible fishover and found Barry on the floor DEAD. She found his tiny fishy body contorted on the sea bed. Betty told her mother that Barry could not cope with their mother's disapproval and resentment. He felt that the only way out was taking an overdose of air which he did before Betty could stop him and he collapsed onto the floor and died.

Beatrice could not live with herself after Barry's death. She blamed herself for both of her children's misery and for Barry's suicide. She believed that she would find peace within herself once her remaining child, her beloved Betty, was safe int he care of more capable loving parents. Unfortunately she was wrong and discovered that she could not cope. Although this family's terrible story is filled with betrayal, woe and pain, we hope that it will not result in an unhappy ending. We implore you to provide for Betty the quality of life that her fish family could not, and to attempt to erase the pain that had been so present in her life up until the point you rescued her.

Beatrice's WILL reading is still being finalised with will be annouced once the date is officially confirmed. The finalisation of the WILL has experienced a few minor complications and is therefore delayed until further notice.

In Memory Of Beatrice Bobblethorpe."

So this is the third/fourth letter now. Getting more and more strange, and this letter definitely indicates that more letters are to come. And they did, which I am going to post in my next blog.

-Tarka98