"Beatrice Bobblethorpe
15th May 1971 - 1th May 2011
Lover, fighter, mother, friend, beater, worker
All things we loved her for
xxxxxxxx"
Followed by:
"In the Memory Of Beatrice Bobblethorpe
15th May 1971 - 15th May 2011
On Thursday 19th May, Beatrice was flushed to rest. I have taken it upon myself to include to you some details about the service.
The funeral service was lead by Vicar Billy, a close fishy-friend of the Bobblethorpe family. Beatrice's close friends Bolly, Brax, on and off lover Brian and auntie Bee all delivered moving, emotional speeches during the service. Beatrice's mother and father did not attend the funeral as they were in so much shock they did not feel ready to publicly acknowledge the loss of their daughter at the moment in time. Bolly was said to be crying all the way through the service and had to be restrained at one point when he tried jumping in the toilet to pull Beatrice out. However, Brax, a very butch fish twice removed from seal world shocked everyone within the service by revealing Beatrice was a secret, casual lesbian and had actually been undergoing a no-fishnets-attached lesbian affair with lesbianism and made a few bubbles. Finally auntie Bee revealed that she was Betty's mother, this caused SHOCK within the bathroom and later announced she was joking and wanted to add a bit of entertainment to the service, however no one thought she was funny and told her to leave. Apparently auntie Bee has always been the dark sea-WHOREse of the family. The family asked me to pass on a very special poem to Betty that was written by Beatrice and read at the funeral.
You are gone, but not forgotten
you're a mother, lover and friend
I will love you until the end
Hold me, touch me, feel me
Kiss me, stroke me, release me
I will never replace you
I will never love again
Love me, Love you, Love us
Beatrice x
Yours sincerely, Detective Brad."
This letter was then followed by a 'WILL' reading... [will add tomorrow as I am too exhausted to type anymore!]
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